Unwell
by lolavespa
Summary: The team knew there was something abnormal about Spencer Reid. But on one had wanted to face the possible reason behind it. This is a story about Spencer's drug problem, and it is from my own imagination :) no slash no death
1. Chapter 1

~hello everyone! So here's a Spencer Reid Fan fic. It's my first story evvver so sorry if it's not the best lol. And I've done some research on dilaudid to make the story more realistic but it is only the research from Google. And the crimes in the story are just some things I made up as I went along. Anyway enough talk, I hope you enjoy the story, oh and please review, or not I'm not your Dady. K bye and i will update as much as I can. :)~

Another sleepless night, another meaningless shot of dilaudid. Thought Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid as he tied a bandana above the knick of his already bruised elbow. It's not like he would have slept peacefully without it anyway. With another sigh of self pity he stuck the needle in his arm and pushed the liquid inside of his vain. 'For a genius you're pretty stupid.' Echoed in his head as he untied the bandana from his arm and leaned his head against his couch. With the rush of relaxation his eyes fluttered closed into a dreamless sleep.

BEEP ... BEEP ... BEEP

"Unnrrnn..." Reid moaned as he turned onto his side and reached over for the snooze button. Glancing at the alarm clock that was now on his living room table, 8:00. Only 3 hours of sleep. He needed to get up to catch the train to work.. And have time to look presentable (not like he had taken drugs 3 hours before) and have some breakfast if his stomach... Or he could call in sick. Again. Have the day to relax.. And refill his stash of dilaudid. Which he had been avoiding but he knew he would have to do it eventually, it's not like he could just quit cold turkey.. But "no" he said to himself sternly. His co-workers would get suspicious. Well more suspicious then they already were. Who was he kidding? His team had obviously noticed something.  
BEEP ... BEEP ...BEEP  
The blaring alarm departed him from his thoughts and back to reality. Time to get ready. He thought as he braced himself to get up, aching muscles and the shiver down his skinny spine told him that he needed another dose. With a sigh he tore himself from the couch and hobbled to the bathroom locking it behind him.  
Walking through the elevator doors 20 minutes late Spencer hurried into his work at the BAU and into the Bullpen. His with-drawl symptoms now thankfully suppressed from the pills he had taken about an hour earlier. Putting his stuff down on his office chair realizing non of his team were around. "Meeting room!" he cursed to himself as he hurried through to conference room. Maybe he could quietly sneak in without making too much of a disturbance. Turning the handle oh so quietly and pushed the door halfway open. No one seemed to notice as JJ went on about something on the projector. He let out a sigh of relief as he took his first quiet step into the office only for his other foot to catch behind this fist step. Before he could reacted his body rammed into the floor with a load thud. Falling right through the door, so much for being quiet he noted dryly in his head.  
"Woah Reid, nice of you to drop in!" Morgan joked as he got up and put his hand out to Reid while the others snickered.  
Looking up at Morgan he awkwardly denied the helping hand and hurried to the only open seat in the room. Unfortunately though, that seat was right next to Hotch.  
"Nice of you to join us Reid." Hotch said in a annoyed tone that made Reid shrink in his chair.  
" Uhmm as I was saying.." JJ continued breaking the awkward silence that hovered in the room. "4 victims, all blond, all females and all found in remote sights strangled with lacerations on the chests and thighs, all missing jewelry and cash.  
"Wheels up in 30." Hotch said as the team dispersed leaving Reid to stare at the files he was passed. Maybe if he hadn't been late he wouldn't have had to skip breakfast in order to catch up on the case. He cursed himself for not being able for get himself together in time to catch his train to work.  
"Reid!" Spencer almost jumped out of his chair as he turned to face Emily Prentis. Who had apparently been standing there waiting for a responds for awhile.  
"what?" Reid snapped, instantly regretting his harsh tone towards his friend and team mate.  
Before he could apologize Prentis stated, "I just came in to give you this." She motioned to the coffee in her hand. She handed it to spencer and stalked out of the room confused as to why Reid had yet again snapped at her. She looked to Morgan who was waiting for her outside of the conference room. He gave her am epathedic look, Emily had been on the reseaving end of Reid's mood swings lately. She rolled her eyes and walked away leaving Morgan outside of the conference room. Damn it.. He grumbled to himself as he walked to get his go bag. There was obviously something going on with Reid but the last time trying to pry it out of him had resulted in the cold shoulder from him for a week. He figured he would just have to wait it out of him. Eventually he would have to get it off his chest, or maybe even get what ever help he needs. This can't last forever.. Can it?

"The cuts on the women were done post mordom.. That could point to overkill. Maybe the victims were representatives of someone to the Unsub." Gideon stated looking up form the files on his lap.  
"Someone who rejected him." Hotch suggested. "But the way they were strangled confuses me. There where small bruises around he necks, not large ones that result from strangling. Meaning it didn't take much force to kill them."  
"It could be a another women that's strangling them." JJ spoke.  
"Reid what are the statistics on women stranglers?" Gideon asked impatiently as he rifled through the pictures.  
When no response was made the team turned their attention to the young agent slouched over in an uncomfortable seeming position fast asleep on the couch. "Reid." Hotch said sternly and shook his shoulder firmly. Spencer opened his eyes coming to and tried to blink away the sleepiness to no avail. Only 3 hours of sleep had really gotten to him. Realizing how uncomfortable he was he sat up to see his team wearing concerned faces along with a irritated looks of Hotch and Gideon. "S-sorry." Spencer apologized a self consciously looked down, trying to ignore the nausea that threatened him. How long has it been since he had his last pill of dilaudid? "What?"  
"Never mind. We will be landing in about 7 minutes. JJ start to get a press conference together." Hotch stated rolling his eyes at Spencer.  
Gideon continued, "Prentiss and I will go to the crime scenes, Morgan and Hotch, you go the the places the victims were last scene..." Gideon paused and looked up at Spencer who was waiting for his job to be given to him. Gideon opened his mouth to say something but closed it noticing the young mans darker-than-usual bags under his eyes and his messy appearance. "Reid go to the hotel get some sleep." He demanded and put away the file he was holding.  
"What?" Spencer chocked. "Gideon I'm fine. I can work."  
"That's an order Reid. When you're more awake then you can start on a geographical profile but until then get some rest." Gideon stated getting up for a refill of coffee.  
Spencer stood up to fallow him and protest but was stopped when Gideon looked back with a 'do not argue with me' look. Crossing his his arms and falling back into his seat like a pouting child he turned his head to look out the window. The team who had been watching the whole argument now looked among themselves and back at Reid as the awkward tension had set in. •••


	2. Chapter 2

~hello my lovelies! here is a new chapter for you.

and I apologize if the crime scenes are not very well written, the main focus in this story is Reid so I haven't put as much effort in the crimes or cases as I have the rest of the story, so please forgive as the rest of the story goes on! I'm having a lot of fun with this so far and I hope you all are enjoying it too! any way enough talk lets get to the story!

also or review if you want please :,) I love hearing feedback! constructive criticism is also welcome too thanks!

Though Reid was angry his superiors had ordered him temporarily off the case he was also glad he could relax, at least until tomorrow... And also have another dose of his blessid dilaudid. He cringed at the thought of being excited to do drugs. But he needed to satisfy his overwhelming craving and stop the withdrawal symptoms before they got too unbearable. Disgusted with himself he walked into his small hotel room setting his bags on the bed and flopping face first on to lumpy mattress. His shaking fingers pinched the soft sheet but stopped immediately remembering the statistics of how often the comforter actually got washed. Quickly taking out his stash from his go bag he Injected the dilaudid into his system. He tipped his head back and his eye lids got heavier. The oh-so familiar satisfying relaxation came over him closing his tired eyes he fell asleep instantly.

"I don't get it." Gideon pondered in their make shift office later that day. "There was a pattern as to where the unsub abducted and dumped the bodies but now it's like he changed his whole M.O. The new dump sights are far away from the last ones.  
"If we had a geographical profile it could give us some visual perspective." Emily rolled her eyes, receiving a look from Morgan, though she couldn't tell what he was trying to portray to her.  
"That will have to wait until tomorrow anyway." Hotch stated glancing at his watch. "It's nearing 12 and we need our rest if we're going to figure out this case. Meet in the hotel lobby at 9."  
As the team dispersed Gideon not-so-smoothly interrupted the conversation between Morgan and JJ. "Yeah I would guess-"  
"Morgan, I want you to check on Reid before you go to bed."  
"I was going to do that anyway." Morgan responded.  
"Good."  
"Is everything okay..?" JJ interjected. Morgan and Gideon looked back at her momentarily forgetting she was there. Hadn't she noticed how abnormal Reid was acting?  
"I think he just got too wrapped up in our last case." Gideon lied. Creating a suspicious look from JJ.  
"I just hope he starts to feel better soon." She sighed and headed for her coat.

Morgan unzipped his jacket as he walked into the toasty heat of the hotel. Glancing at the lady behind the counter he smiled at her, making a mental note to come back and talk to her later. Making his way to the elevators Morgan's thoughts were, 'What am I even gonna say? It's not like he's gonna tell me the truth. But this is has been going on way too long. Weather he needs help or not, I just want to help the kid. But-' his thoughts stopped as his vision hit the sight of the hotel bar. 'Maybe a drink will calm my nerves about talking to Reid, if I'm visibly nervous he would know something was up.' Directing his walk towards the bar.  
Gliding onto one of the bar stools he ordered a drink, momentarily contemplating as to get one for Reid but ultimately deciding against it.  
"Martini cocktail." He smiled at the bartender.  
"Make it two." The smooth words came from a woman behind him. Sexy was an understatement for her, drooled Morgan as he motioned for her to sit on the open bar stool next to him. "Megan." She hissed as she slid into the bar stool.  
"Derek." He responded paying for the drinks and tipping the bartender.  
"Cheers." She said holding up her martini.  
"Cheers."  
After what seemed like a few minutes Morgan glanced at the wall clock. 2:48. Damn it he was supposed to be getting some sleep, he looked to Megan who was still talking, oblivious to the guilt on Morgan's face. "And after that, I had to read-"  
"Oh shit Reid!" Morgan cursed as he moved to get up. "I'm sorry babygirl but give me a call." He said handing her his card trying to move past the disappointed look crossing her face.  
Morgan moved to pass her before his peripheral vision caught sight of the only other person in the bar besides him and Megan.  
He turned towards the younger man, his tall frame was slouched over a glass of scotch sitting on the table. Moving in closer Morgan could clearly see the distressed look on his face, his messy hair, puffy red eyes, and was he shivering? With that big sweater on?  
Morgan swiftly pulled the chair from out of the table and placed his weight on it across from Reid.  
"Hey." He said when Reid didn't look up.  
With a sigh Reid peeked up from his drink glancing briefly at Morgan before having another sip of his drink. Where did he start?  
"You okay?" Morgan dared to start instantly regretting it. Of course he wasn't alright, but he wasn't going to confide in him, at least not now anyway. He could see the dark circles under his eyes had gotten seemingly worse along with the redness.  
"Fine." Reid mumbled after what seemed like minutes as he continued to study the condensation around the glass held in his hands. "Did she get your number?"  
Morgan was confused at this, had Reid seen him talking to Megan? Damn it he probably feels like chop liver. Bros before hoes Morgan reminded himself bluntly. Should he apologize? Reid didn't seem mad at him.  
"She may have gotten ahold of my card." He said holding back a grin.  
"Hm." Reid said with a smirk raising his glass to his lips and taking a sip. Returning it back to the table and looking across the bar towards the women who was now getting very touch-y with another man. "Nice catch." He stated sarcastically. "A study in Minneapolis, Minnesota revealed that 45% of prostitutes who had prostituted for at least six months had an STD."  
Morgan chuckled seeing the ghost of a smile on his friends face. Something he hadn't seen in frankly a while.  
"Finally kid."  
Reid's slightly amused expression morphed into confusion. "Finally?"  
"I haven't heard you spout statistics in forever." He smiled.  
"Oh." Reid seemed to shut down.  
Spencer finished off his drink and got up, stopping momentarily to stop the dizziness overcoming him. He needed another hit of dilaudid he thought.  
"Woah man, how many drinks have you had?" Reaching out his hand to help steady his young friend.  
Reid shrugged off the hand and looked at the older man with something that looked like anger. "Only one." He stated and stormed out of the bar and towards the elevator. Followed close by Morgan. Sudden mood swings. Morgan subconsciously pointed out.  
"Reid, kid, calm down I was just joking." He chuckled awkwardly.  
"I just want to go to bed." He said leaving Morgan confused, hadn't Reid been sleeping all day. The elevator closed and the feeling of lifting. Now or never.  
"Reid, listen man-"  
Before he could finish the elevator abruptly stopped and the lights in the elevator flickered until red emergency lights illuminated the small space. The two agents looked at each other. Reid's eyes had fear where Morgan's just had confusion.  
Reid's breathing got quicker as he repeatedly pushed the panic button. Panic was an understatement, Reid thought. Not only was he claustrophobic, if he didn't get his dose soon his withdrawal symptoms would start again, he would be in so much pain, he would get so nauseous, in the elevator! Not to mention uncontrollable shaking and-.  
"Reid you-" Morgan! Morgan was here! He would see the symptoms, he would know what withdrawals look like. He's gonna find out, or at least confirm his suspensions. Why the hell wasn't this button working? Nausea threatened Reid's stomach as he pulled his sweater tightly still repeatedly pressing the button. What is he gonna do whe-  
"Reid!" Morgan snapped Reid from his panicked thoughts. "No matter how many times you push that button the doors aren't gonna open any faster."  
Reid looked at him and back to button. "Right." He cursed.  
"Got any reception?" Morgan tried  
Pulling out his phone Reid couldn't control the shaking of his hands. Although he could hide behind the fact that he was panicking. He told himself. "No."  
"It's okay just stay calm, Reid breath with me.. In... Out ...in out."  
"Morgan I'm fine!" Reid almost yelled in frustration. Realizing his tone he continued. "I'm sorry.. I snapped at you, but I'm fine."  
"Hey you guys! Ill get you out in a few minutes! The doors seem to be stuck!" The two assuming it was the maintenance man both visually relaxed, well as much as Spencer's dilaudid deprived body could.  
"See? We'll be out of this thing in a jiffy." Morgan smiled. Getting a small nod in return.  
"Reid.. Here." Looking at Morgan he found the older man taking off his leather coat and handing it to him. Was his shaking really that noticeable? Wait did Morgan just think he was cold? Relief flushed through him as he smiled and thanked the older profiler. Though the jacket was warm and toasty the shaking of his body still over took him. Also accompanied by beads of sweat on his forehand that he repeatedly wiped away. When will these doors be open? Morgan is gonna notice. Reid needed another dose now.  
"Hey kid.. So listen, has everything been alright?" Morgan inched towards the younger agent. Which made Reid feel even more claustrophobic and trapped. He backed up a few steps until his back was against the wall he didn't want Morgan to see the pain in his eyes from the lack of drug.  
Reid looked down, cursing himself for being so obvious. Look Morgan in the eye, don't fidget, do not let the fellow profile know that you are lying. ".. I'm fine." Reid internally panicked as Morgan gave him that 'Really?' look. He knew. Oh god he knew how long did he think he could keep up this act? Just admit it Spencer! Maybe you could get some support, Morgan is your best friend just tell him. "Really."  
"Cmon Reid, you and I both know something is going on, and I'm worried about you kid. If you just talk to me we can get you the help you-."  
"You don't need to worry about me Morgan, I-"  
"Reid."  
"Just lay off Morgan!" Reid rattled and turned his body away from Morgan. Oh god he totally knew.  
"Why Reid? We both know I'm not stupid. Neither is our team. And I, as much as everyone else, want to know why your acting like.. like a drug add-" before Morgan could stop the words they spilled out of his mouth. He immediately regretted it. But he knew it was the truth. He recognized the mood swings, the withdrawals, the behavior.. Reid was acting like a drug addict.  
"You are accusing me of being a drug addict?!"  
Before he could say or do anything the lights changed to normal and the elevator doors opened. Reid rushed past him bumping into Morgan's shoulder in the process.  
He didn't want to end the conversation there, he turned on his heel and rushed past the confused looking maintenance man and towards Reid. "Reid!" Reaching out he gripped Reid's skinny wrist in his hand forcibly pulling him back. With a loud yelp he was jerked back to face Morgan.  
The fear across the younger agents face caused Morgan's angry expression soften, and realizing how tightly he was gripping his wrist he gently let go. "Sorry.." 'I guess I forgot my own strength' Morgan thought.  
Backing away from Morgan, Reid searched for his room key, not once taking his eyes off of the older man.  
"Goodnight Morgan." Reid spat as he used his uninjured hand to unlock and open the his hotel door.  
"Kid cmon please-" Spencer slammed the door, leaning his back against it.  
Letting out a whimpering sign he sank to the floor, still shaking uncontrollably, he deserved this, he thought to himself as he hugged his cramping stomach. Leaning his head against the door with a thud he let out a soft sigh of self hatred. •••


	3. Chapter 3

~hello beauties! here is another chapter for you! The next chapter will be out tomorrow.

I hope enjoy this chapter! review if you feel like it!

enough talk...

Chapter 3

Ring ring... Ring ring  
The blaring screech of Reid's cell phone alarm went off. How long has it been since he went to sleep?  
Ring ring... Ring ring  
Should he even get up? He could tell Hotch he was sick, referring to his aching and clenching muscles.  
Ring ring... Ring ring  
Letting out a frustrated groan Spencer rolled over and turned off the sound, anger still raging he threw the small flip phone across the room. The delicate phone smashed into smaller pieces scattering across the blue carpeted floor. Looks like Spencer needed a new cell phone. He turned his head towards the window trying to calm himself down. The sun was coming up brightly with a cloudless sky. Didn't particularly match his mood. He thought.  
Reluctantly he pushed his aching body off the bed and towards his bag for clothes. Glancing at his stash sitting on top, he scowl he turned away from the drugs. But then noticed his shaking hands.. No, not yet, control yourself, you can have some later, right now you need to focus on portraying that everything is fine. He reasoned with himself. and rummaged through his all too familiar shirts. Spencer closed his eyes in frustration. He had forgotten to wash his clothes from their last trip. "Damn it!" He kicked the the chest of drawers with his bare foot instantly flinching in pain. There's gotta be a washer and dryer in this hotel.  
Gathering his clothes Spencer walked through the hotel wondering through the empty halls. It was only 5:15, not many people would be up, Spencer planned to get up this early so he could quickly do his geographical profile, shower, and of course.. Take some dilaudid. Finally pushing through the door the room that was labeled 'Guest Laundry' it was a small concrete room and had two sets of washers and dryers each equipped with laundry detergent. It also had dryer sheets, a cart for clothes, a sink, and a full length mirror. It was obvious not many people came down here, as there was a lone cobweb on the washer. Although nothing caught his eye more than the man standing there, he had dark bags under his eyes that contrasted against his light skin. His hair was messy and sticking up in all directions and his short sleeved t-shirt didn't help in hiding his track marks or the bruises around his wrist and on the inside of his elbow. Putting on his glasses he looked like he would taken a little more seriously. Looking away from the mirror he stuffed his clothes into the washer and started the machine leaning up against it.

Hotch looked at his wrist watch. 9:12.  
JJ looked towards the saved seat between herself and Morgan. Reid was late. Again. The team was at the hotel breakfast area seated at a large table, all with small styrofoam plates not yet filled with food, the team had decided to wait for Reid to be polite. But in the meantime files upon files were sprawled out on the table and Hotch's Laptop was set at the end of the table with the team's pleasant technical analysis Garcia. Staring through the camera listening to the conversation.  
"The last victim was found down an alley way, and then the next victim was abducted from an alley way... But that's the only connections between the dump sights." JJ spoke carefully.  
"Three of the five victims were both found in alley ways actually." Gideon corrected.  
"Actually only two of the victims were found in alley ways, the last one was found next to an abandoned building." Reid chimed in. Laying down a large map with many markings on it in the middle of the table. The team was surprised Reid had finished the profile so soon but were thankful they finally had it.  
"Reid, glad to see your back in the game." Gideon smiled, Reid looked much more presentable today, and he had his glasses on which always made him look more professional.  
Morgan dared to look up at Reid, he did look considerably better than he had in awhile. But he couldn't stop thinking about last night. He told himself he had to apologize but frankly he was still angry at Reid. His eyes lingered down to his left wrist, Reid's selves were slightly rolled up.. Most likely from the heat but glancing down he looked quickly away at the deep bruises he created the night before.  
Reid nodded at Gideon and awkwardly sat down in between Morgan and JJ. Particularly avoiding eye contact with Morgan. "And also the victims were moved post mordom, which could mean that he takes the victims to the same place to kill them." He stated in a lower voice an slouching down.  
"Good work Reid." Hotch stated looking over the map on the table.  
"How is the profile going?" Reid looked up.  
"Well the unsub-"  
"We will get you up to speed later right now go get some food." Gideon interrupted Hotch.  
"But-"  
"Gideon is right. We all should get something to eat before we head to the station. We will continue this there." Hotch said motioning to get up.  
Reid watched as Emily got out of her seat and skipped towards the food buffet followed by Hotch, Gideon, and then JJ. He stopped and started to put his map back into his bag.  
"Hey kid..." Reid jumped, forgetting that Morgan was even there. He turned to face Morgan who had a somewhat apologetic look on his face. Reid couldn't make eye contact for more than a few seconds so he continued stuffing the map into his bag. "Listen.. I'm sorry.. For last night." Motioning towards the younger man's wrist.  
"Morgan its fine lets just drop it." Reid demanded pulling down his sleeve. He got up and marched over to the buffet where the rest of his team were piling various food items into their plate.  
"Hey Spence, you seem to be feeling better. How did you sleep?" JJ asked sweetly. She looked up from the scrambled eggs she was scooping, her voice was so comforting, it reminded him of his mom. He wished he could talk to his mom about how he's really been. Or anyone for that matter, bottling it up inside had only made everything worse.  
"Yeah. And I slept very well actually thanks." But it's only because I shot up with dilaudid before bed, I fell asleep without a problem and didn't wake up from the nightmares. Reid wished he could tell her. To be honest he wished he could tell her everything, confide in her and ask her to make everything better, cry on her shoulder-.  
"That's good." She smiled and continued back to the food.  
Reid's stomach growled as he looked down at the breakfast area, when was the last time he ate? He couldn't remember as he picked up a styrofoam plate.

The team had worked for hours studying the crime scenes, re-profiling, and even studying victimology over again but nothing new came up, they needed a new victim.  
"The unsub is obviously not strong, he had to drug the women to over power them. And the strangle wounds are very small." Hotch tried.  
"He would need a vehicle to transport the bodies. Something that is common but still big enough to fit a body in." Emily continued getting the ball rolling.  
Ringgggg Ringggggg "Excuse me." Hotch said as he took out his phone and walked out of the room.  
"This unsub is good. No mistakes, no evidence, and no witnesses." Morgan sighed  
The team continued to work in silence until Hotch marched in. "There was a body found in Nebraska with the same M.O."  
"The guy went to Nebraska!" Morgan cursed. He pulled out his phone and speed dialed Garcia. "Babygirl give me a list a list of people that took direct flights from Tennessee to Nebraska."  
The team rushed out of the police station to the SUVs. "Pack quickly wheels up in 40 minutes." Hotch barked.

The BAU team walked into the small area in the Nebraska police station. The room was small and the light bulbs seemed somewhat cheap looking. Setting up their makeshift office Hotch started giving orders. "JJ I don't want the unsub to know that we are here. Reid start another geographical profile, even if there's only one victim it will help. Morgan Prentiss and I will go to the crime scene."  
Without a word the team started their assigned tasks.  
"Hello my little crime fighters! I have a list of names, these names are all the people that took a direct flight from Tennessee to Nebraska."  
"Good start a background check on everyone." Hotch demanded as he left the too with Morgan and Prentiss right behind him.  
"Yes sir!" Garcia exclaimed not realizing Hotch had left the room. With a tap her picture was gone, leaving the other agents to their work.

The ride from the police station for the new hotel was uneventful. Nothing new was found in regard to the unsub but they did figure out that he drove to Nebraska instead of flying. The team stood in the lobby waiting tiredly for Hotch to get the room keys from the front desk.  
"I can't wait to sprawl out on the bed and sleep." Wined JJ turning towards the others, making an effort to pass the time with conversation.  
The other agents smiled but didn't respond otherwise. They were frustrated, frustrated that they hadn't found the unsub. This guy was off the grid and good at what he does.  
But right now the only thing they could do is wait for another victim and hope that he makes a mistake.  
A few minutes later Hotch returned with only 5 room keys and an irritated expression. "There's only 5 rooms available for tonight." Hotch ran a hand through is hair obviously tired and ready to sleep. "I was thinking you girls," handing the key to JJ and Emily "and you boys." Handing another room key to Morgan and Reid. "You and I can have the singles." Hotch handed the second to last key to Gideon and turned headed for the rooms. Gideon followed and the girls interlocked arms and walked away aswell leaving Morgan and Reid in the lobby.  
"Let's.. Just forget about last night.. Please? I want-"  
"Reid."  
"Please! I forgive you.. I'm sorry for getting upset.. Let's just go to bed?" Reid pleaded, practically begged not wanting to deal with it tonight.  
Morgan rolled his eyes. He couldn't help Reid by forcing him to confide in him, he needed Reid to tell himself.  
Reid felt himself relax as Morgan motioned him to 'com on' towards their room. The two profilers headed down the hall to room 401.  
But the relief was short lived as Reid stopped in his tracks, he couldn't shoot up with Morgan in the same room!  
He could go a night with out his precious dilaudid right? It was just one night Hotch said. He could do it. A rush of nausea came over him causing him to question what he had just come up with. How long has it been since he last took a does? 5... 6 hours? Withdrawal.  
"Reid?" Reid looked up at the impatient looking Morgan standing about 10 feet away. Reid shuffled to him and the both continued their way down the hall.  
If he just went to bed now maybe he could sleep through the withdraw until morning. 'For a genius your pretty stupid'. He thought. How long could he keep this up. He had to quit...  
Walking through the door Morgan and Reid both collapsed onto a bed, Reid picked the bed closet to the window whereas Morgan chose the only other open bed.  
The rooms where nice looking with white wall paper, expensive looking wall lights and the same blue carpet as the last hotel. Reminding Reid he needed a new phone since his last one was in pieces.  
"Anything good on TV you think?" Morgan said sarcastically holding the remote with batteries missing.  
"Probably not." Reid said apparently missing the joke. He slipped off his shoes with shaky hands he crawled into the sheets.  
"Huh." Morgan could see the young profiler was beyond tired. He got up and turned off the lights. "Night kid."  
"Goodnight" hopefully this will be a goodnight, Reid worried subconsciously tracing his fingers over his track marks.•••


	4. Chapter 4

Hello gorgeous little butterflies! I hope you enjoy this new chapter! and I hope you guys like the story so far! I will be updating as soon as I can.

btw thank you all for the support, comments and favs!(what ever those are)

anyway, enough talk! lets get into the story.

Chapter 4

Spencer's terror had now taken over him. The adrenaline coursing through his veins hadn't stopped. His heart skipped as a dingy light bulb flickered. God please don't go out. Spencer begged to the only source of light in the black room. The small light was cracked as it swung gently above this head. Anxiety flooded him when he found he was unable to move his limbs. Frantically he searched for anything beyond the darkness. A whimper escaped his mouth as the light bulb went out. His heart seemed to stop as Tobias stood inches away from him. "You killed me." He echoed through the stiff air. He looked so innocent, like a victim. Spencer thought. Tears escaped his eyes as he chocked out "I'm sorry." The guilt weighing him down and making it even harder to move his frail body.  
"What are you sorry for!?" The scream knocked out Spencer's breath. Before he could catch any air back into his lungs Charle's hand quickly contacted his throat and cut off the precious supply of air.  
"P-please...!"  
"You're a sinner." Charles spat as he pushed Spencer into the dreaded darkness.  
"Nooo..." The darkness was closing in on the terrified man. "NOooo.." Pitch black hands gripped Spencer's hair and his body and over his face as he screamed as loud as his lungs would allow but nothing came out. "Ahhhhhhh!" He tried pushing the hands away but it only resulted in more hands grabbing him tightly. He screamed again and again until finally Morgan came in to view. Reality set in.

Morgan stirred from his peaceful sleep. Small sounds could be heard to his right. Confused he pushed himself up lazily propping himself up onto he's elbows. The sounds turned out to be whimpers as he noticed Reid frantically tossing and turning. Poor kid must be having a bad dream.. Aren't you not supposed to wake someone from a bad dream or is that when they're sleep walking? Morgan internally questioned.  
"Noooo.." Reid moaned in his restless sleep.  
Maybe he should wake him up. Morgan decided as he sat up and headed towards the light switch across the room.  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Seconds before his finger hit the light switch a blood curdling scream came from behind him. Swinging his head back he saw Reid's arms flailing through the air and screaming at the top of his lungs.  
Flipping the switch Morgan sprinted to he younger man.  
Morgan reached out and pined his friend's flailing arms at his sides so he wouldn't hurt him or himself. Reid, still frantic Morgan motioned to get on top of the younger man's hips to keep him still. Although the screaming continued as Reid struggled against the darker man.  
"Reid! Reid come on kid wake up!" Morgan tried. Reid seemed to relax a bit and Morgan's grip loosened. Reid opened his eyes with a jolt, he struggled under Morgan's weight to get away. "Reid calm down its only me!" His puffy and tear filled eyes focused on Morgan and he stopped fighting. Reid's heavy breathing slowed to normal as his friend crawled off of him to the edge of the bed. "You're okay now, it was just a dream."  
"I-I'm sorry.." Reid choked as a tear spilled from his left eye though he quickly wiped it away along with the sweat on his forehead.  
"You don't need to apologize.. Are you okay?"  
"Fine." Reid sat up and wiped the remaining tear streaks from his cheeks feeling embarrassed.  
"You're still in your work clothes.. Do you want to change?" Morgan questioned noticing the younger mans shirt was drenched in sweat.  
With a small nod Reid swung his legs to the side of his bed and stood up. But instead of walking like he wanted to do, his knees buckled and the dizziness almost blocked his vision. Luckily he felt strong hands grab him before he hit the floor. With Morgan's help he stood up straight again. "Thanks" he mumbled.  
Leaving Morgan sitting on the bed Reid sluggishly walked towards his bag. His hands shook with he reached for the zipper on his bag. Opening it up the only thing he saw was his dilaudid. The thing he needed most right now. The thing he would need to get back to sleep. And the only thing he could not let Morgan know he had. Staring longingly at the clear bottle of liquid he considered sneaking into the bathroom to take it. But reluctantly deciding against it, Morgan would know. He pushed the precious dilaudid to the side and pulled out an old shirt to sleep in. He made sure it was long sleeved. Turning his body he saw Moran studying him.  
"Stop profiling me." Reid mumbled.  
"I'm not profiling you." Morgan defended.  
Reid muttered something under his breath that Morgan couldn't clearly make out. He tried to hide his shaking from the nightmare and his withdrawal as he pulled his damp shirt off and quickly replaced it with the new one. Making sure not to let his friend see the track also took off his dress pants revealing his plad boxers. Instead of folding up this sweaty clothes he uncharacteristically tossed them on the floor and crawled back into his bed.  
"Are you gonna be okay Reid?" Morgan questioned looking down at him.  
"Yes it was just a nightmare, you get them too.." Reid said looking away from the older man.  
"Yeah but you're still shaking."  
Oh no he noticed. He knows already just tell him the truth! Spit it out! "I'm just cold." He responded pulling the covers to his neck and turning to his side. Not only to turn from Morgan but also so he could cover his arms over his clenching stomach.  
"Okay.. Goodnight Reid. I'm right here if you need me." Morgan sighed.  
"Morgan?"  
"Yeah?" Morgan answered a little too quickly.  
"Thanks.."  
Morgan smiled as he turned off the light, leaving the bathroom light on and opening the door wider. With a yawn he laid down falling asleep quickly.  
Reid looked over at his sleeping friend. He felt a twinge of jealousy. Why was sleeping such a hard thing to do for him to accomplish?

Reid felt lights repeatedly pass over his field of vision. He was laying down as the bulbs moved over him.  
"Hello Dr. Reid. You remember me right?" A blurry face came into his limited view. Confused Spencer tried to blink the blurriness from his tired eyes.  
With no luck he moved to rub his eyes with his hand. Horror flooded through him as his arm didn't corporate. Mustering up as much strength as he could he lifted his head. Tears threatened his eye when he realized he was being pushed through a hallway on a gurney. Looking down at his hand panic set in and it seemed hard to breathe as he struggled against the wrist restraints. Weak he dropped his head back onto the gurney being pushed by the figure.  
"P-please.. J-just let me go.." Spencer croaked.  
The figure looked down at him with a sinister smile.  
Overwhelming terror ran through Spencer as he recognized the evil face.. Frank.  
Tears spilled as he desperately fought to get free.  
"Struggling will do you no good." Frank hissed in his ear causing Spencer to whimper in hear.  
The gurney whipped to the left and into a large room. "Nooo..."  
Frank ripped Spencer's limp body off the gurney and onto what seemed to be a bed but he couldn't be sure. The "pillows" surrounded him like quick sand. He weakly tied to push away them away to not avail. He struggled to keep his head above the quick sand and not suffocate in the silk pillow cases. Frank came into view with a knife, and Spencer's heart seemed to stop. With one quick motion he rammed the knife into the light switch on the wall. The screech of electricity stung Spencer's ears as he struggled to cover them with his shaking hands. Spencer screamed in terror as the electricity lit up Frank like a cartoon. The horrific glowing skeleton slowly reached towards terrified man.  
Dread filled his struggling body as he tried to swim but he didn't move from the spot. The electrified frank came inches away from his face.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Morgan sprung out of bed and turned the light on the lamp next to the table. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Morgan jumped back onto his flailing friend, placing his weight where he did before and grabbing his friends wrists again.  
"Reid! Wake up! Wake up!" Reid struggled to get away from Morgan.  
"Please no! Ahhhh!" Reid screamed at Morgan.  
Morgan gently shook Reid until the screaming and struggling stopped and his eyes fluttered open. His quick breathing once again slowed to a normal.  
Morgan gently crawled off of the younger agent and sat next to him.  
Before he could say anything Reid's body sat up and doubled over into a long coughing fit.  
When it was finally over Morgan asked, "Reid what the hell is scaring you tonight?"  
Reid looked up for his hunched over position to Morgan. He tried to say something but nothing came out as nausea over took his being. Limbs shaking he ignored Morgan's worried stare and hobbled quickly to the bathroom, followed closely by Morgan.  
Collapsing to his knees in front of the toilet he violently vomited out his stomach contents.  
Not knowing exactly what to do Morgan reached out a rubbed circles on to his friend's back.  
When the vomiting finally stopped the dry heaving continued.  
Eventually that stopped stopped too, Reid flushed the toilet and slumped down onto his backside. Tears threatened as his stomach cramped painfully. He peeked up at Morgan who was kneeling besides him, his face was filled with panicked worry. Looking back down Reid slouched hugging his torso tightly trying hard to ignore the pain that covered his entire body.  
Reid jumped as a hand fell on his shoulder. Looking up at Morgan he heard him say, "come on let's get you back to bed."  
Reid was more than thankful Morgan didn't seem to suspect the obvious withdrawal.  
Morgan hoisted him to his feet, holding some of his weight as they walked to the bed next to the window.  
Reid fell onto the bed and held in a gasp of pain.  
"Reid..." Morgan paused not knowing what to say. He reached his hand to Reid's forehead. No fever, but he sure looks like he has one. The shaking didn't suppress and sweat was pouring down his face. But he could blame that on the nightmare..  
"It was Frank this time..." Reid said with a frown.  
Morgan was a bit surprised Reid had opened up to him about the nightmare.  
"W-what time is it? ...I'm sorry I woke you up... Again." Reid rasped, both men taken back at how weak he sounded.  
"Again you have nothing to be sorry for." Morgan replied and looked at the digital clock on the bedside.3:45. "Just try to get some rest Reid." He continued and pulled the covers on top of the younger agent like he was tucking in a child for bedtime.

Reid opened is eyes with a frustrated groan. Looking to Morgan jealous that he had gotten to sleep so easily. Whereas Spencer had been up since 4 dealing with muscle pain and body shakes. He needed a dose to suppress the withdrawals and go to sleep. He had to have it to work tomorrow, and he had to have it to sleep and he had to have it so Morgan wouldn't see the signs. Spencer rolled his eyes at himself. He most likely knows by now.  
Reid sat up, not caring anymore. Too angry to care! This drug had ruined his life, what does it matter anymore? He just wanted to sleep! He quickly but also quietly got up and headed for his bag. Grabbing the dilaudid he glanced at Morgan, who was still fast asleep. The clock next to the older man glowed 5:50. He wouldn't be up for another 2 hours. Limping from the muscle cramps he headed to the bathroom.  
He pushed the door closed and looked up at the tired looking man starring back at him. Disgusted with what he saw he moved his attention towards the bottle of dilaudid.  
Spencer wirily eyed needle, now filled with the precious liquid. With shaking hands he rolled up his sleeve. Excitement overcoming him and a small sick smile curled across his lips. He stuck the needle in just as the door swung open.  
"Reid!" Morgan grabbed the needle out of Spencer's elbow. Causing Reid gasp in pain.  
Looking up at Morgan his eyes went wide. "No." His mind was souly focused on the relief as he reached for the beloved drug.  
Morgan only pulled it back from his reach with a terrified expression, what had he just witnessed?  
"I need it." Reid begged trying to reach for it only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder.  
"What the hell Reid!" Morgan yelled making the younger agent jump and seem to focus on reality instead of the drug. "Is this dilaudid? How did you..?" Morgan knew the answer before he asked. Tobias. He had drugged Reid with it when he kidnapped him. Morgan recalled over hearing the doctor say it was extremely addicting... He new something was wrong with the kid. But this?  
"Morgan... Please..." Reid begged with tear rimmed eyes.  
Anger over came Morgan as he quickly turned and took out the anger onto the door with a loud thud causing Reid to whimper from behind him.  
Looking down at Reid's needle and back to his friend the anger continued.  
He looked up at Reid when the shaking man whispered, "it helps..."  
Calming down a bit he asked, "why?!"  
Reid's desperate face turned to anger as his shaking body straighted up. "Why?!" Reid gasped with disbelief. "To cope Derek! To fucking cope!"  
Morgan was shocked not only at the fact that he used his first name and cussed at him but what exactly is friend had just yelled.  
"To cope with the fact that I killed those people... And Tobias!" A few tears ran down Reid's cheeks as he yelled, "To stop the nightmares! ... To stop the guilt." His voice cracked as he said the last word.  
Morgan stood speechless. He had no idea that the poor kid was dealing with so much.  
"Reid.. Dilaudid isn't going to fix your problems."  
Reid scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Don't you think I fucking know that?!"  
Shock filled the older man once again.  
"I've tried to quit... I really have.." Reid looked down, quickly whipping his tear streaks away.  
Reid looked up at the mirror. He snatched the bottle of dilaudid on the bathroom counter and threw it straight at the other Spencer in the mirror with all his strength.  
Morgan stood stunned as the broken glass fell to the counter breaking into more pieces.  
The clear liquid leaked off the counter and dripped delicately on to the floor.  
Reid didn't move from his spot as he slouched and hugged his clenching torso. Disbelief at what he just did.  
More tears spilled as he turned to his friend with the desperate look plastered onto his face yet again. "I need help." His voice cracked and he hung his head in shame.  
He jumped when Morgan wordlessly wrapped his arms around him in a comforting hug. "Its okay Reid. I'm gonna help you. We're gonna get you through this." Reid relaxed into Morgan and let the tears fall, thankful he had finally had help. •••

~Please tell me if you liked the nightmare scenes, it was a creative assignment that I changed a bit and I chose to incorporate in this story! or don't.. Im not your daddy.


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